Anatomy
of Memory Recall: Bliss of Oblivion?
XXXIV
Then of the Thee in Me that works behind
The Veil, I lifted up my hands to find
A Lamp amid the Darkness; and I heard,
As from Without--"The Me Within Thee Blind!
Then of the Thee in Me that works behind
The Veil, I lifted up my hands to find
A Lamp amid the Darkness; and I heard,
As from Without--"The Me Within Thee Blind!
For
who to dumb Forgetfulness a prey,
This
pleasing anxious being e'er resigned,
Left
the warm precincts of the cheerful day,
Nor
cast one longing lingering look behind?
It
has often been said that “memory is the second thing to go.” If rejoined with a “what’s the first one?” the
anticipated correct, on script answer would be “I can’t remember.” As
long as it remains anecdotal and adheres by the books, it admittedly is
somewhat amusing.
However,
this is not all born of idle indulgence upon the exercise in futility. After you have arrived at that stage in life
when a good deal of “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering
why you went there in the first place, it erodes any amusement off the
experience.
To go
from my room to the kitchen I have to negotiate, among others, a 13-step stairway.
The only reason I remember by heart the number of steps on the stairs is I had
repeatedly redundantly traversed them too many times on a normal day for too
often not remembering the reason why I went to the kitchen, to begin with.
I had long ago conceded in writing why but not how memory
was designed to be so selective [see, p.89 op. cit.]:
“Suffice to say, memory is, of
necessity invariably selective. As an
organism with instincts for self-preservation, we only retain what serves to
reinforce the prolongation if not perpetuation of [our] existential well-being.”
The how has become
a fertile field of scholarly inquiry, both theoretical and experimental. Where it once was confined in the province of
philosophy it had subsequently transitioned into psychology and
biology.
. . . psychologists and biologists have joined forces to open up the
“black box” to study how the brain and behavior allows us to learn and have
memories. . . . now be[ing] studied at two different but complementary levels,
one aimed at brain structure, circuitry and behavior, and the other aimed at
individual nerve cells and the molecules within nerve cells.
It
certainly was never my intention to venture into so esoteric a domain of
knowledge as the neurobiology of memory.
What piqued my curiosity was an incident which bordered on the bizarre
and has left me befuddled and scratching my head for explanation. It behooves to be narrated with some detail
in the hope that it might usher in a modicum of comprehension into the dynamics
of memory recall.
I was
watching a late night TV rerun of the final round coverage of the Humana Challenge (previously The
Bob Hope) PGA Tour golf tournament. Lying comfortably on my back to relax the
telltale relics of the compression fracture on my lumbar vertebrae from the 30-Jun-11 traffic
mishap,
out of nowhere I was seized with the irresistible urge to remember the first
name of the girl who was my daughter’s high school friend. Or at least she was the only one of my
daughter’s friends who had visited our house in more than two occasions.
For
all of ninety-three to ninety-eight minutes I latched in vain onto every morsel
of imagery that I could grasp in my memory banks. The most curious thing about the incident was
that there was absolutely nothing in what I was watching or consciously
thinking of during the interval which could provoke her floating into my memory
field. The main remarkable thing about
her name was the surname being Tabora
and my daughter Renata’s married surname was Tobar. Admittedly, the sort
of phonetic inversion was noteworthy if not remarkable.
Before
the eureka moment came at the end of the ninety-five or so minutes of
agonizingly trying to come up with her first name, the names that came parading
in my mind were Grazina, Serena and Selina.
About which, without exactly knowing how, I was dead certain they were
the wrong ones. Then just as suddenly
and inexplicably, the correct name popped up: Suzanna. By then without any proof at my disposal I
was equally sure it was the first name I was missing. My wife did later verify the answer to be
correct.
The
relevant question(s) I reckon should be 1) how did the urge to recall get
triggered; and 2) what brought in the once elusive correct answer? I had scanned through my recent activities
(which are currently very limited due to the state of my physical health) and
the ninety-five minute interval trying to arrive at Suzanna.
The
only activity I had remotely relevant to the process of remembering consisted
of the following experience totally unrelated to Suzanna, but very germane to
the project of memory recall:
The
day before, 18-Jan-14, Mina shared on Facebook a picture of her father, Farid
and me. Incidentally, although I met
Mina once in Princeton, NJ before she got associated with Columbia University,
I have not been accorded the privilege of becoming her Facebook friend. This particular picture was one of the images
included in my last book [see p. 116 op.
cit.] and the only one I have with Farid who was my college days colleague for a
good part of eight or so years.
One
of Mina’s Facebook friends was impressed by the picture. He inquired as to the year it was taken. Having known for certain that the picture was
from my book because of the captions, I felt it my professional obligation as a
matter of courtesy to volunteer the information~>New Year’s Day 1968.
This
was promptly disputed by Farid who argued that based on the evidence that he
was wearing a necktie, it could not possibly have been taken during our years
in Kyoto. I had to conjure up more circumstantial evidence to buttress my
earlier deductive conclusion.
Considering that these arguments won the day for me, I deem it proper to
excerpt it here in full (edit proofed):
Farid, I hope you’ll not ever write
your memoir. You got not only the city and the year both wrong, you also got
the Japanese family mixed up. There were three people instrumental in
recruiting foreign students in the Kyodai Ryugakusei Tomonokai (a.k.a. Kyoto
University Foreign Students’ Fellowship Society), of which I became the
president in our third year. They were: Inoue-san (Physics), Iwanaga-san (Civil
Engineering), and Iwasaki-san (Mechanical Engineering).
Only Inoue-san was a native resident of Kyoto. He was in the best position to invite us to share his family holidays with us. Besides, he had two very cute younger sisters who were not studying at Kyodai. Moreover, in 1965 we were still in Chiba Foreign Students College. You moved with the Iranian crowd and I stayed with the Filipino crowd. The only Iranian-Filipino interface in social activities was due to Joe Laraya (Todai, electronics) having had a very charming (and rather friendly) Iranian girlfriend. Need I say more?
I
still am at a loss as to how could Mina share the picture because I have not
uploaded it into Facebook. Other than
sending the images to the publisher FriesenPress, I did not post the picture
anywhere. I could only surmise that she
could have purchased the electronic (kindle) edition of the book and shared it
therefrom.
I
just verified that the last hyperlink above redirects the user to the top of
Farid’s Facebook page and not to the shared picture. Therefore, I find it expediently prudent to
insert the picture in question from the original archived source, before the
captions which I ended up importing from Mina’s SHAREd copy:
Invited to first New Year's Day in
Kyoto household of Inoue san (left), me (middle), Farid (right)
After
further ruminations on the circumstantial evidence that I relied upon to arrive
at my conclusion on the date of the picture, I can now conceivably concede that
it could have been the very first New Year we had in Kyoto which would place it
in 1967. It really should not matter
much. What is a couple of years to give
or take among friends?
37
Oh, questions, and more questions, yet no more
Do answers come than mermaids come to shore
To build a rainbow bridge across the gulf
So broken dreams may blissfully recur.
It
behooves to be cognizant though that remembering and forgetting are just the
two sides of the memory recall equation.
Adhering to the adage that a picture speaks a thousand words, I am
content to leave the picture to speak for itself and let you draw your own
conclusion.
With
resignation, I join Tennyson in invocation:
O
strengthen me, englighten me!
I faint in this obscurity,
Thou dewy dawn of memory.
I faint in this obscurity,
Thou dewy dawn of memory.
One of Mina's friends who I did subsequently befriended on Facebook informed me that he ordered my book:
ReplyDeleteMehdi Kalantari Mr. Asumen, I just ordered kindle copy of flirting with misadventures on Amazon. Looking forward to reading your memoir.
I sincerely wish him luck. I hope he would at leas find it an interesting, more than a challenging read.
Another disconcerting episode which seems to occur more often than I’d prefer these days is wanting to Google-search a text string and forgetting the text string altogether by the time the search dialog box is open. It’s very frustrating to say the least.
ReplyDeleteIn comparing notes on our first meeting, my wife and I could have been in different hemispheres. Here’s how:
ReplyDelete(1) I recalled her knocking on the window between the porch and the living room while I was soaking myself in the bath tub after a round of golf. It was past 15:00 hours on the Friday before the July 4th weekend. My Puerto Rican live-in housekeeper from the U.S. Virgin Islands took the weekend off because she went to St. Thomas. Although I was annoyed at my bathing was interrupted, on noticing two ladies on the porch, I did not want to miss anything. I hurriedly dried myself and went to the porch.
(2) After exchanging pleasantries, I asked her what her vocation was and she laughingly remarked that “like everybody else who comes from Poland, she makes a living cleaning houses.” My impression then was (to myself) “here’s a charming female who is not embarrassed of the menial character of her vocation.” That was a good part of why I was endeared to her.
(3) She, on the other hand maintains that she met me for the first time when they were actually moving in at 23:00 hours the Sunday before July 4th. She was convinced I was just coming home from work. I was between consulting engagement when we met.
(4) Be that as it may, I have learned in the twenty-three years or so that we have been together that I never win an argument with her. So I just let it go by saying, “whatever you say.”
One point of clarification: I met my wife when our daughter’s family moved into the 2nd floor of a two-family house. I occupied the first and ground floors of the same building.
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