A Posteriori

* * * A P O S T E R I O R I * * *

(After Seeing You but Once NYC/12/28/80)

(V)                 [1]                         

If sweet suspicion but sustain

The chance which all suspicions breed

Suspecting truth, would truth remain

That unsuspected dormant seed

Whence bloom those dreams we seldom dare

For fear that but frustration prove

The daring fruit that dreamers fear

When dreams appear to be of love

And love bedeemed illimmature

By matured silence venture speak

May unbespoken long endure

Injured to heartbreak give and take:

Silence is for the faint at heart

As daring speech is Virtue's art!

 

(VI)            [2]

Let askance dwell ere you with contempt fling

Into some rage that may perdition bode

Of our acquintance in its early spring

Which rapturepregnant, threatens to explode

Of passions akin to a summer storm;

Try selfcomposure but in vain contain

The havoc which, you, unbeknownst, perform

Beyond what prose may venture to explain

To this, my poor and unsuspecting soul.

Thou, tide legend of Shakespearean fame

Which in affairs of men the flood control,

Oh how! and why you set myself aflame?

Sweet Angel born of living poetry,

Grant me the right to sing thee night and day!

 

(01/04/81: After Seeing You Home)

(VII)             [3]                     

Live courage by sweet mem'ry of a kiss

With nonchalance to me you hastened throw

So made courageous boldly dreams cherish

And hope the memory will chance renew

Ere burden of your answer negative

Myself annihilate beyond redeem

And languish in the poignant thought as grieve

As liking you be but an empty dream.

If your kiss were but protocolimposed

Let selfdeception Purgatory be

Regrets bereckoned most deserving cost

When sin is but default's own legacy!

I'd rather grab the harvest of a sin

Than wonder of: If but, what might have been!

 

(VIII)            [4]

Hence contemplation boldly will proceed

More questions pose, to thenceforth answers seek

For questions are to conscience healthy bread

To nourish on, as hubris feeds on risk.

Should I be rest content with your first "No"

And to the verdict of harsh fate resign

Myself would be my most dangerous foe

And reason would to wretched farce consign.

Should I at all the path of danger brave,

The consequence to face sans bitter tears,

Let forfeiture not be that path conceive

Else all my days be litany of fears.

Virtue misplac'd there seems in arrogance

Misplacing virtue's reason's temperance!

 

(03/04/81: On Your Smoking)

(IX)        [5]

Oh yes, that I am burning so within

Although unlike the cigarettes you take

With hesitation of a conscious sin

(Before commission its repentance seek)

Should be no secret; least of all to you,

Who set this heart aglow, should I disguise

The hunger for your touch which you construe

As tendency to preach and moralize!

If know you should, sure, should I truth reveal

And misconstruance henceforth not admit

Even the echo of my envious tale:

That but I tip holding your cigarette

So fire within me can your lips devour,

For cigarettes you shall crave nevermore!!!

 

(03/11/81: Beyond A Title)

(X) [6]

If but I can love you a little less

Than I have loved you since and love you now,

To such proportion would perhaps some peace

Or stolen comfort settled thoughts allow

Some more resourceful means with more success,

Uncharted avenues venture explore,

Unearth those as yet undiscovered ways

Or unimagined Gods' power implore

To brave the door of favor to your grace.

And yet, Alas! Each day I love you more!

Behooved beholden be of your caprice

As billows beating on the passive shore:

Though loving you meseems the greater need,

Of you beloved be, the cause I plead!!!