* * * A P O S T E R I O R I * * *
(After Seeing You but Once NYC/12/28/80)
If sweet suspicion but sustain
The chance which all suspicions breed
Suspecting truth, would truth remain
That unsuspected dormant seed
Whence bloom those dreams we seldom dare
For fear that but frustration prove
The daring fruit that dreamers fear
When dreams appear to be of love
And love bedeemed illimmature
By matured silence venture speak
May unbespoken long endure
Injured to heartbreak give and take:
Silence is for the faint at heart
As daring speech is Virtue's art!
Let askance dwell ere you with contempt fling
Into some rage that may perdition bode
Of our acquintance in its early spring
Which rapturepregnant, threatens to explode
Of passions akin to a summer storm;
Try selfcomposure but in vain contain
The havoc which, you, unbeknownst, perform
Beyond what prose may venture to explain
To this, my poor and unsuspecting soul.
Thou, tide legend of Shakespearean fame
Which in affairs of men the flood control,
Oh how! and why you set myself aflame?
Sweet Angel born of living poetry,
Grant me the right to sing thee night and day!
(01/04/81: After Seeing You Home)
Live courage by sweet mem'ry of a kiss
With nonchalance to me you hastened throw
So made courageous boldly dreams cherish
And hope the memory will chance renew
Ere burden of your answer negative
Myself annihilate beyond redeem
And languish in the poignant thought as grieve
As liking you be but an empty dream.
If your kiss were but protocolimposed
Let selfdeception Purgatory be
Regrets bereckoned most deserving cost
When sin is but default's own legacy!
I'd rather grab the harvest of a sin
Than wonder of: If but, what might have been!
Hence contemplation boldly will proceed
More questions pose, to thenceforth answers seek
For questions are to conscience healthy bread
To nourish on, as hubris feeds on risk.
Should I be rest content with your first "No"
And to the verdict of harsh fate resign
Myself would be my most dangerous foe
And reason would to wretched farce consign.
Should I at all the path of danger brave,
The consequence to face sans bitter tears,
Let forfeiture not be that path conceive
Else all my days be litany of fears.
Virtue misplac'd there seems in arrogance
Misplacing virtue's reason's temperance!
(03/04/81: On Your Smoking)
Oh yes, that I am burning so within
Although unlike the cigarettes you take
With hesitation of a conscious sin
(Before commission its repentance seek)
Should be no secret; least of all to you,
Who set this heart aglow, should I disguise
The hunger for your touch which you construe
As tendency to preach and moralize!
If know you should, sure, should I truth reveal
And misconstruance henceforth not admit
Even the echo of my envious tale:
That but I tip holding your cigarette
So fire within me can your lips devour,
For cigarettes you shall crave nevermore!!!
(03/11/81: Beyond A Title)
If but I can love you a little less
Than I have loved you since and love you now,
To such proportion would perhaps some peace
Or stolen comfort settled thoughts allow
Some more resourceful means with more success,
Uncharted avenues venture explore,
Unearth those as yet undiscovered ways
Or unimagined Gods' power implore
To brave the door of favor to your grace.
And yet, Alas! Each day I love you more!
Behooved beholden be of your caprice
As billows beating on the passive shore:
Though loving you meseems the greater need,
Of you beloved be, the cause I plead!!!